Very few people have ever been able to see my fear. Most see the person I am trying to be - outgoing, passionate, friendly, happy - and can't see past the outer shell to see deep into who I am. The reality is that sometimes I sit at h…
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I turn 30 today.Happy birthday. :)My life the last few weeks have been hectic and stressful. Holidays always are, and moving my business at the same time has made it even more so. Thankfully, I've had time just to sit back and enjoy - to w…
Sometimes blogging inspires me. And sometimes it stifles me. Today I'm feeling both. I started half a dozen posts yet finished none of them. And half-finished thoughts are, honestly, best left alone until they find their other halves. I fe…
not Except once. But that was before I learned that you're not supposed to tell a girl that you're not attracted to her. Even if she asks. Before you impose all sorts of socially prescribed judgment on me, remember that I am autistic. Norm…
It was my freshman year of college.A few weeks before classes opened for registration, I had a powerful prompting: I was supposed to be an ambassador.I signed up for Hebrew, Arabic, Middle Eastern Studies, and American Sign Language. My go…
I knew that my family was different. My parents' choices were different from anyone else I knew... and I was different... so sometimes that meant I got bullied. Other kids wouldn't talk to me, I didn't have many friends, and people sometim…
"If you could switch lives with anyone, who would you choose and why?"I'm not sure where the question came from. It could have been one of those deep get-to-know-you games that come with a box of cards filled with questions (I have an OCD-…
Update: The Church has released clarification on the policy mentioned here. The text (published Fri, Nov 13) can be viewed here: Oh, the beauty of not knowing you're awkward. :)My freshman year I met a girl in the cafeteria who, after a fe…
I used to be bipolar. Proof enough for those who understand is here on (G)MG, where many posts were written in the thick of depression or on the peak of a hypomanic high. I used to be bipolar. Proof enough for those who understand is here …
June 26, 2015.The day the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have a right to marry throughout the USA.And the day I completely lost faith in the US government.I read the opinions of the Supreme Court a few minutes after they went li…
It's been a long time since I've written.What was once a habit - a habit I began on my mission to write about my life at least weekly - disappeared almost overnight when I was called to be a ward mission leader.At least that was my excuse.…
I got back at this morning from National Products Expo West. We closed our booth a day early so we could come home and attend Church. With the combination of Anaheim traffic, driving East, and Daylight Saving Time, we got back at 8:50 this…
I don't understand myself.I have my own business - a place I love to work. I have a best friend and plenty of people who care about me. I have food, clothing, a place to sleep, and the freedom to worship God.And yet...I'm not even sure if …
It's been a while since I updated. A million things have happened, most of which I probably should have written about. But instead of boring cyberspace with a long list of the recent events in my life, I'll just stick with today.I have mix…
It's been a long time since I've blogged here, yet again. But Daylight Saving Time just gave me a free hour. So I have some time to think and write.The last few months have, at least in comparison, been awesome. I no longer get bipolar moo…
An apostle spoke yesterday in conference and said that sometimes laws are passed that go against the will of God. That we, as members of the Church, should continue to show kindness even when we deeply disagree with the things our country …
We just sang "Come All Ye Sons of God" in stake priesthood leadership meeting and during the 4th verse I actually laughed aloud. "In heavenly bliss your time employ / a thousand years in Zion to praise the Lamb." The thought that being übe…
I've wanted friends for years. Growing up I saw my siblings with their entourage of friends, and me seemingly alone... and somehow I felt superior. I felt like I didn't need friends. The reality is that I had people who were my friends, bu…
It's been a while. Life has been stressful, and every time I write a blog post something pulls me away before I can finish. And then it happens again, and again, and again.But in the end it just means I have some great unfinished journal e…
